Saturday, December 1, 2007

Yo' Savior

The recent story of an English teacher's arrest in Sudan for allowing her 7 year old school children to name a teddy bear "Mohhammed" points out a serious sensitivity problem....among Muslims.

While watching a Sudanese man on the news calling for this woman's death, I was reminded of how many fights used to start in schools and workplaces across the country. Somebody would say something about somebody else's mother, and it was on! This situation was diffused with a classic case of steering into the skid: The Yo' Momma Joke. Instead of refraining from saying anything bad about anyone's mother, people stayed up late thinking of new and more outrageous insults they could throw at each other in the name of Yo Momma. It turned into a game, an anti-hypersensitivity game.

Now we need to do the same thing and apply it to religion. I propose: The "Yo' Savior Joke". You don't have to single out anyone's savior by name. Keep it generic. Make it funny. Here are a few to help you get started:

"Your savior's so dumb he thinks an infidel is someone who can't play violin."

"Your savior's so fat, he ate the whale that ate Jonah."

"Your savior's so dumb he brought a shovel to the "holey war"

"Your savior's so fat, they had to use two crosses."

"Your savior's so lame, he brought Disco back from the dead."

"Your savior's so lame, he turns water into Zima."

"Your savior's so lame, instead of parting the Red Sea, he gave it a perm."

"Your savior's so dumb he thinks reincarnation is using evaporated milk twice."

"Your savior's so dumb he thinks a tithe is something one wears with a thuite."

you can even go after non-religious icons (can't leave the atheists out):

"Your savior's so dumb he thought hemlock meant the cup had reinforced stitching."

Spread the word. Remember, offending people is the whole point, so don't pull your punches. Just keep it generic and make it funny. Together we can save the world from the scourge of hyper-sensitivity.

3 comments:

Wifezilla said...

Hello you sick twisted freak!

:D

My favorite is the Zima one. Too funny.

Here is my lame attempt.

"Your savior is so ugly...nobody would make a graven image of him at any price."

Captain Capitalist said...

Some Contributions from Crazyboards.org:

for the pagans ___"Yo' savior so ugly, her temple prostitutes gots to pay the customers."

"Yo' Savior's so imaginary, Santa Claus stopped believing in him."
__null0trooper

HannibalLS said...

Atheist
Yo Saviour is so dumb he crawls across bridges because he doesn't think he can walk over water!
Yo Saviour is so dumb he only had sex once because he doesn't believe in resurrection!
Agnostic
Yo Saviour is so dumb he pees in his pants because he doesn't know if there is a toilet in the building!
Buddhist
Yo Saviour is so dumb he thinks re-in-Carnation is changing the flowers in the vase!
Jew
Yo Saviour is so dumb he thinks a Gas chamber is a groovy place!
Baptist
Yo Saviour is so dumb he thinks Holy water comes from a nuclear reactor!