Until now, it had been widely believed that the Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich were mythical creatures born from the minds of the writers at South Park.
However researchers have discovered an actual living, breathing, walking, talking being that is almost certainly either a Giant Douche or a Turd Sandwich.
It lives in a giant cesspool known as the Daily Kos and communicates in a language that brings to mind bloody fingernails on a dirty chalkboard. It seems to have amazingly little brain function for a creature of its size.
...and they say there's nothing new under the sun.