Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Myth of Monogamy?

I just watched yet another author explain why monogamy is a myth that we must dispense with for a healthy society. It's unnatural. Everyone has wandering eyes. Everyone fools around at some point. Marriage that requires monogamy is unrealistic, which is why they so often fail. We should be honest about it and find a new way forward. Those who embrace promiscuity are referred to as "sophisticated".

Well, that's right and wrong. Monogamy may well be unnatural. It may be tough. It may be a struggle for many. But it is not impossible, and it's in the contract. When a couple gets together for life, they reach a social contract. Part of the deal is monogamy. It's the price of the relationship. Every time the urge to break the deal strikes you, you have to make the decision: Is my partner worth the price? That's the real dilemma. Many people's actions betray their answer to that question...and they don't like the answer. Rather than face that reality, or the possibility that they are, in fact, weak and/or dishonest, they pragmatize. They come up with reasons that their actions were understandable, unavoidable, justifiable.

If you love your partner and you've cheated, don't blame the universe, society, biology, blame yourself. Recognize your will is weak and needs work or maybe you're in a relationship that's just not going to work. There are only two possibilities: You're a schmuck or your partners not worth the cost. Whichever it is, face it. Deal with it. Quit trying to convince the rest of us that we don't exist. As for me...coming up on 22 years and still living the myth.

1 comment:

Wifezilla said...

Maybe you are still happily married after 21 years because you are a guy that can actually keep his promises :D

If you think monogamy is unnatural, DON'T GET MARRIED. If you do get married, you are promising to stay with someone till "death do you part". Of course, you could write your own vows...like to "love honor and cherish until some hotter chick comes along". Not sure a woman with a brain would go for it, but at least you wouldn't be a lying scumbag.